Ama Gypsy Tour

Reality and More Strangeness

I often say in relationship to my vessel, "Wild Card is a modest boat, with much to be modest about." This is, in reality, an exaggeration. My vessel doesn't deserve to be spoken of quite so highly. My vessel is one small step from a floating wreck. A lot of jetsam is more seaworthy than my vessel - hell, even some flotsam! The fact that she is (usually) above the surface of the water is the most puzzling thing about her. Wherever I go, people row over and ask, "What the hell happened?"

Or, "Do you need a pump?"

Or, "Do you think there's still time to get her into the slings?"

Once, a US Coast Guard Auxiliary officer refused to come aboard my vessel for a 'courtesy inspection' because, as he delicately put it, "It was too dangerous, and besides - there was an odor!"

I mean, do they want me to have a holding tank or not?

The real Coast Guard has (wisely) refused to slap a sticker on her that says 'manifestly unsafe voyage' for fear of crushing the fiberglass during its application.

"Be gentle," my wife often tells me as I winch in the jib sheet, "this vessel is weaker than your morals."

Are you getting an accurate picture? I mean, my vessel looks like it has been maintained by … er, Somali pirates.

Which is fine.

The Caribbean is filled with hundreds of rust-streaked fiberglass yachts with rotten balsa cores, spongy decks, wobbly masts, crazed portholes, buckled bulkheads, etc. Nobody rows up to them and asks their owner why they rolled the topsides so badly, why they are allowing their sail covers to rot-off from centuries of sun-damage, why the dinghy is over-flowing with last month's garbage.

But I have a problem.

The only shore job I ever had was digging ditches, and, alas, I was fired from it for incompetence. (I mean, you use the shovel backwards a few times - wham! You're fired!)

… but I digress.

Somehow I stumbled into writing for a living. Bear with me a second, please. Grab a shovel, run topside, dinghy ashore to the beach, and then dig down three feet in the sand. Not so easy, eh?

Now grab a pen and write the sentence, "I dug down three feet."

… much, much easier, right?

So I decided to stick with writing.

But I didn't want to be a hypocrite. So I blurted out the truth: "I'm an idiot, and my boat is a wreck." I honestly thought that my readers would believe me - after all, why would I lie?

Ama National Gypsy Tour - Big Bike Weekend October 7, 2011 ...

Mary Ann Tedesco Memorial Ride and Bike Show - 6th Annual

Jul 24 Torrington, Connecticut . Riders & Non-Riders WelcomeEnjoy a 50+ mile ride through scenic Litchfield County. Ride begins and ends at RJB Contracting, 588 Winsted Road, Torrington, CT. Registration: 9:00-10:45 a.m. Riders leave at 11:00 a.m. $20 for Single Rider, $30 for Rider & Passenger and $10 for Non-Rider attend�

Jul 23 Windham, Ohio . Memorial Run / Chinese Auction to raise money for the Families and Babies of Akron Childrens NICU Bike registration at 9:00 am First Bike out at 10:00 am 15.00 single 25.

American Motorcyclist

American Motorcyclist

American Motorcyclist

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